i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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