Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
