hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
