my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
