She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
