There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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