We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
