yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
