Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
