i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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