Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
