it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize