he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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