I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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