Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
