I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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