i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
