in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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