You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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