so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
