His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize