True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am naked and annoyed.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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