Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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