The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
