I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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