i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
