just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize