I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
