somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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