yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
