I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
