I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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