Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
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Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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