So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
