Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm really busy with my period
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