just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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