Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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