You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize