capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize