I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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