ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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