Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
