I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
