I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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