i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
