I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize