I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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