I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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