PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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