Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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