Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
When did angry sex become our thing?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Come on in and take your pants off
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