I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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