I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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