Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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