im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Randomize
