If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
