I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize