Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's rum buckets o'clock
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
