if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
